Frequently Asked Questions
What can I do to assist a friend or loved one during this difficult time?
A person who is grieving the loss of a loved one is a friend in need of your caring
and understanding. Here are some suggestions on what you can do to help.
- Attend the funeral of your friend's loved one. Being at the funeral emphasizes to
your friend that your friendship is important and you will be there for them to
- Offer to listen. Tell the bereaved person, "I can't relate to what you're going
through, but if you want to talk, I'm here to listen." Someone who is grieving needs
to talk about his or her emotions.
- Don't tell him or her to "Get over it." or explain how "death is a part of life".
People differ in the amount of time it takes to overcome a loss. There is a fine
line between being supportive and being insensitive. Let the person know you are
there to support them, not judge. Survivors need to talk about their loved ones
for months, sometimes years. Healing is not an overnight process.
- It's okay to cry.
- Laughter heals. One of the most important things your can do is to help your friend
focus on the good memories and fun times that live on.
- A hug or squeeze of the hand goes a long way toward providing lasting comfort.
- Send a letter recalling all the great times you have shared together.
- Make a memorial contribution to their favorite charity.
- Stay in touch. Call them often on the phone and let them know you have not forgotten
- Be the friend you were before. Take over a meal. Invite your friend to your home.
Go out to lunch, dinner or shopping. Offer to take the kids for a night. See a movie
- Don't wait to be asked. Show that you care in whatever way is comfortable for you.
This is what friendship is all about.
What purpose does a funeral serve?
It is the customary way to recognize death and its finality. Funerals are recognized
rituals for the living to show respect for the dead and to help survivors begin
the grief process.
What do funeral directors do?
Funeral directors are caregivers and administrators. They make the arrangements
for transportation of the body, complete all necessary paperwork, and implement
the choices made by the family regarding the funeral and final disposition of the
Funeral directors are listeners, advisors and supporters. They have experience assisting
the bereaved in coping with death. Funeral directors are trained to answer questions
about grief, recognize when a person is having difficulty coping, and recommend
sources of professional help. Funeral directors also link survivors with support
groups at the funeral home or in the community.
Why have a public viewing?
Viewing is part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. Many grief specialists believe
that viewing aids the grief process by helping the bereaved recognize the reality
of death. Viewing is encouraged for children, as long as the process is explained
and the activity voluntary.
What is the purpose of embalming?
Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body, retards the decomposition process, and
enhances the appearance of a body disfigured by traumatic death or illness.
Embalming makes it possible to lengthen the time between death and the final disposition,
thus allowing family members time to arrange and participate in the type of service
most comforting to them.
Is cremation a substitute for a funeral?
No, cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment for the body's final
disposition and often follows a traditional funeral service. In fact, according
to FTC figures for 1987, direct cremation occurred in only 3% of deaths.
I've decided on cremation. Can I still have a funeral or a viewing?
Yes, quite often some sort of viewing precedes the actual cremation. Your Funeral
Home can assist you with the necessary information for a funeral with a cremation
following or a memorial service.
What should I do if the death occurs in the middle of the night or on a weekend?
We are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Please
and we can assist you during this difficult time.
Will someone come right away?
If you request immediate assistance, yes. If the family wishes to spend a short
time with the deceased to say good bye, it's acceptable. They will come when your
time is right.
If a loved one dies out of state , can Consigli Ruggerio Funeral Home still help?
Yes, we can assist you with out-of-state arrangements, either to transfer the remains
to another state or from another state.
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